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Communicating with your Pre-Verbal Child Sleep Tips for Your Summer Holiday Let the Kids Decide
Learning to make decisions in the preschool years is important for self-esteem. A child who is used to being given choices and making their own decisions will not be as easily swayed by peer pressure. When you give your child the opportunity to learn decision-making skills you help them become independent thinkers as they move into the next stage of their lives: the school-age years. The Move to Freedom: Transition From a Crib to Bed The move from a crib to a big bed will bring a sense of freedom to your child and a new set of challenges for you. Its not always a case of you child being ready – are you ready?
Don’t move you child to a bed to make room for a new baby, when moving to a new home, when changing or starting daycare or when anticipating other major life changes. Don’t take on to much by combining potty training or another learning skill during this time.
In some cases you might have to go back a step in order to go forwards by implementing some form of gradual withdrawal. You might also want to introduce a clock / alarm or other cue that lets your child know when morning has arrived so that he can come to you for his cuddle. Be positive and let your child know frequently how amazing he is. Why Play Therapy? WHY PLAY? Play is a child's medium for expressing their experiences as well as their feelings about themselves. In fact, play for a child is as water for a fish, the jungle for a monkey or the desert for a cactus. Play becomes the rehearsal for adult life for the child who has had her basic physical and emotional needs nourished, and has had opportunities as well as permission to play. Rehearsal for life play enables a child to assimilate and integrate new cognitions and social skills, values and moral judgments. In today's fast-paced world of technology, the tendency of adults is to view play as simply a way for a child to fill their time, or as wasted time or even unproductive time. Credit is not given to the experimental development that lays the foundation for future cognitive abilities. There is current research detailing the value of play in a child's development. WHY PLAY THERAPY? Play Therapy is an approach where children are given the opportunity to play out their feelings and experiences. This is the most natural and self-healing process for children to engage in. When the nature of the events in a child's life is emotionally disconcerting or traumatic, the child is developmentally unable to utilize cognitions, history or his basic belief in himself to stabilize his world. In order to gain some comprehension of the situation, he will recapitulate the situation in play. WHAT IS PLAY THERAPY? Play Therapy refers to a large number of treatment methods, all of which make use of one or more of the natural benefits of play. Play Therapy differs from regular play in that the therapist helps children systematically address and resolve their own problems. Since play is a child's preferred medium for self-expression, it makes it easier for children to confront what is bothering them. Play allows them a safe psychological distance from their problems and allows them to express their true thoughts and feelings in ways best suited to their developmental level. A scene will be reenacted of actual events that have been screened through the child's perceptions. The scene will be replayed numerous times, each time adding to the child's experiential field. With each reenactment of the situation, the child also experiences the effect associated with the original situation. Before the pattern of these perceptions and the child's emotional experience can be altered, they must be experienced in a different format. The assistance of a Play Therapist creates changes that are health oriented and which move the child toward a new perspective of the situation. HOW DOES PLAY THERAPY WORK? Children are brought into Play Therapy to safely address and resolve their issues. Often, by the time children arrive for therapy, they have used up all of their own options for solving their problems and simply do not know what else to do. By this time, children may be acting out at home, with friends, and at school. Play Therapy allows trained Play Therapists to assess and understand children's play and to use it in assisting the child in coping with difficult emotions and in finding solutions to their troublesome issues. By safely confronting their problems in the protected Play Therapy environment, children find creative solutions. Play Therapy allows children to change the way they think about, feel toward, and resolve their issues. Even the most troubling problems can be confronted in Play Therapy and lasting resolutions can be discovered, rehearsed, and adapted in to the child's life. HOW WILL PLAY THERAPY BENEFIT MY CHILD? Children benefit from Play Therapy in many ways. Research supports the effectiveness of Play Therapy with children experiencing a wide variety of social, emotional, behavioral, and learning problems, including: post-traumatic stress, conduct disorder, aggression, anxiety/fearfulness, depression, ADHD, impulsivity, low self-concept, reading difficulties, social withdrawal, autism, Asperger's Syndrome, and hearing impairment. Play Therapy has been used successfully with children whose problems are related to life stressors, such as divorce, death, relocation, hospitalization, chronic illness, physical/sexual abuse, domestic violence, and natural disasters. HOW IS THE FAMILY INVOLVED? Families play an important role in a child's healing process. Children and families heal faster when they work together. The Play Therapist will make decisions about how and when to involve some or all of the members of the family in the Play Therapy process. The Therapist may make some suggestions for strategies to be used at home to support the process. The therapist will communicate regularly with the child's parents/caregivers to monitor the progress of treatment.
Nancy McDougall, RN, CPT is a Registered Nurse and Certified Play Therapist with over 30 years experience working with children and their families. Since 1987, she has been working in a children's mental health facility. Nancy has been in private practice in Victoria for 10 years. She can be reached at (250)744-8879. New Parent Sleep S.O.S. A Successful Transition to Kindergarten Starting kindergarten is a landmark event. Even children and aprents who have experience several years of preschool perceive this transition as a rite of passage, usually me with both excitement and anxiety. Personally, as a young child I never understood what the fuss was all about and why I had to relentlessly plead, throw tantrums and negotiate with my parents to get in. The programs back then were split into junior (optional) and senior kindergarten, and at age four, I was not about to wait to get into this big-kid club called Kindergarten, especially considering my older brother was in. My parents thought I was too young but ultimately caved in, and there I was, ready to take on the world. With an open and joyful heart, I embraced Kindergarten and never looked back. However, for my older brother, starting kindergarten was a truly different experience. It was not a proactive and seamless process. The trauma unfolded on the first day, when my dear mother and I walked my brother to class to introduce him to his teacher and proceeded to leave. My brother clung to her with terror in his eyes, wailing uncontrollably, which ignited my mother’s guilt for trying to leave her child in a strange place to begin with. This activity went on for nearly an entire month. I didn’t truly understand my brother’s fear or the importance of taking the proper steps to ensure a happy launch into Kindergarten-land, until my own child’s turn. My son attends a Montessori school and had been in the preschool program since age three. Although my husband and I were ecstatic about this new evolution, we did experience some stress, which we quickly overcame as our son’s overall positive outlook about the situation prevailed. Thankfully, we did most things right: 1. Decided on which Kindergarten program we wanted our child to attend. This was easy – since we totally believed in and experienced the positive effects of the Montessori Method, our existing school was the right choice. 2. Requested an enrollment package and information from the school. We were open and eager to become extremely knowledgeable about not only Kindergarten, but also the entire elementary program. 3. Attended an Open House of our child’s new class. We were lucky; our school offered our child the experience of hands-on time in the actual Kindergarten class. This event sealed the deal for our son and eliminated any uncertainties he was facing about this new venue. 4. Met our child’s new teacher. This personal time also gave us the opportunity to share our ideas about our child’s interests, strengths and any areas of concern. 5. Talked enthusiastically with our child about starting Kindergarten. We found all sorts of wonderful books about the subject and read them together, although intermittently with his other stories, for a more subtle effect. We had detailed discussions about the kinds of work that is done in Kindergarten and the new routines to expect. 6. Scheduled an appointment with our child’s physician to make sure that his immunizations were up to date. 7. Found out how we could be involved in our child’s classroom and overall school support. As parents, it was only natural for us to want to be involved and contribute back to the school as much as we could. 8. Made an effort to develop friendships with other parents. Since we ran into other parents regularly at school drop-off and pick-up times, it made sense to welcome the idea of befriending others with at least that one same thing in common – a child in Kindergarten. In summary, both child-school connections (introducing preschool children to Kindergarten and Kindergarten-related activities to familiarize the child with the classroom school environment and their new teacher), and family-school connections (the relationship that a family has with their child’s school to maintain a supportive educational environment) are vital in ensuring an enjoyable and successful transition to Kindergarten. Making Art With Children When children are given the opportunity to work with artistic elements like color, form and sound, they are acquiring direct access to a nourishing realm that other kinds of learning cannot reach - for color, form and sound are languages of their own. Children can begin painting using a special technique called “wet-in-wet watercolor” as soon as they can manipulate a brush. In this technique, liquid watercolor is applied to damp paper where it spreads outward. The painting session begins by preparing the soaked paper, laying out the materials and setting a mood of hushed expectation. The painting itself should take place in a calm, unhurried manner. In any of the nearly 1000 Waldorf schools around the world, children as young as three enjoy this activity several times a week. The teacher tells a “color story” to accompany the painting and even the most boisterous of toddlers becomes enthralled, thoroughly engaged, and filled with wonder as the color blooms across the white surface of the paper. Young children are allowed to deeply connect with one color at a time over a period of several sessions. In order to discover the inner quality of each color as it goes through countless changes from pale and transparent to intense and back again, it is necessary to experience the color as itself and not attached to any particular form. To represent an object in the painting would change the focus of the experience and bring the intellect into play. When we delve into color without worrying about form, the activity has the advantage of bypassing the intellect and speaking directly to the soul. Color has been called “the language of the soul”. We can, and do, work with the intellect using other mediums. Gradually, the children discover what occurs when two or more colors meet each other. When blue and yellow rest next to one another it is different from when blue glides over yellow, or when yellow swims into blue. These encounters between colors give children an unconscious insight into how disparate elements can work in harmony or disharmony. An experience like this works on a whole other level than a lecture on how to behave in the world. Later, when children enter adolescence and fully awaken to the complexities of social relationships, these earlier artistic experiences which spoke to the soul will meet conscious thinking to form a more complete understanding. When it comes to working in groups, harmonizing one’s own inner conflicts, or appreciating basic life processes, children will be able to draw on these earlier unconscious lessons. In this article I have spoken only of color, but it is equally valuable for children to have an experience of other artistic languages such as form, sound and movement. Far from being an “extra” or just the “icing on the cake”, the arts are an immensely practical and useful tool and should be integrated into children’s earliest learning. It is common for adults who have never had the opportunity to develop this gateway to personal renewal to experience periods of feeling burned-out or empty. But a child who has been given the gift of an artistic vocabulary has life-long access to an endless source of creative energy, which will stream continually into all they do in later life, whether medicine, business, politics or parenting. Understanding Autism: Taking Little Steps Towards Acceptance Autism is a lifelong developmental disorder that affects approximately 1 in 165 people. The prevalence of autism has increased significantly over the last 2 to 5 years. Autism is a complex disorder and many families, professionals and others, are working alongside individuals with autism to help them learn to function as independently as possible within their own society and culture. Whether you know someone with autism or not, there are things we can all do to help these individuals and their families through their journey towards functional participation in society. Through building our awareness and understanding of this disorder, we can all provide compassion and warmth when we meet these people in our communities. It is important to note that children with autism generally do not have any physical characteristics that differentiate them from typical children. However, what is considered an every day situation to many of us; such as a shopping mall, hair dresser, or even a park, can be very overwhelming for a child with autism. Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) is an umbrella term that refers to a broad range of disorders including Pervasive Developmental Disorder, Asperger syndrome, Rett’s syndrome and Autism. The primary symptom of autism is impaired communication and social interaction skills. Behavioural difficulties and extreme sensitivity to sensory information are also common symptoms. Characteristics range from mild to severe, and individuals may or may not have co-existing cognitive delays or other disabilities. Although there is currently no definitive cure for ASD, many people with the disorder respond well to a program of structured intervention that includes input from an interdisciplinary team of professionals. Little Steps Therapy Services provide structured programs to meet the individual needs of each child and family. An interdisciplinary community-based service is provided by a Speech-Language Pathologist, Occupational Therapist, Behavioural Consultant and trained interventionists. For more information regarding individual or group therapy programs, please contact Little Steps Therapy Services at 250-386-1171 or by email at info@littlesteps.ca. You can also visit their website at www.littlesteps.ca. Elimination Communication Throughout most of human existence, parents have cared for their babies hygienically without diapers. In many cultures around the world, mothers still know how to tune in to their infants’ elimination needs to keep them clean and content. For these mothers, knowing when their baby “needs to go” and holding them over an appropriate place, is second nature. There is a steadily growing resurgence of interest in this practice among North American parents today. Parents are drawn to it for the baby’s physical comfort, to avoid diaper rash and digestive problems, to support the baby’s body awareness, for environmental reasons, to prevent diapering and toilet training struggles, and to reduce diaper use. The greatest benefit, however, is enhancing their bond, and developing a deep and close communication and trust. How Does It Work? How does she know? 2. Baby’s signals and body language - common signals include: fussing, squirming, grunting or vocalising, becoming still, waking from sleep, a certain frown etc. 3. Intuition - many mothers find they begin to simply “know” when their babies need to relieve themselves. 4. Cueing the baby - around the world, parents cue the baby with a specific sound (such as “shhh” or “sss”). This concern is easily allayed when you’ve seen this gentle practice in action. The focus is on gentleness and communication and helping the baby release and relax, not forcing them “to hold it in.” The ability to retain develops at the baby’s pace, as a natural consequence of his or her awareness. Millions of mothers world-wide can attest to the fact that babies clearly can voluntarily regulate their elimination without any coercion or negative effects. On the contrary, parents often feel an increased closeness and respect for their baby. Tuning in to your baby in this way does require commitment and effort, as does being a responsive parent in general. Most parents prefer to use diapers, at least part-time, during the early learning process. Most children become reliably toilet independent with this method between about 12 and 24 months. Yet many of the parents say they would choose Natural Infant Hygiene again, even if it were to take just as long as conventional training. They value the closeness and communication. When Your Baby Needs Extra Help If you are concerned about your child’s development, the Infant Development Program can help. The Infant Development Program serves children from birth to three years of age, who are at risk for, or who already have, a delay in development. Programs are available throughout British Columbia. In the Vancouver Island/Coastal Region, there are ten Infant Development Programs and ten Aboriginal Infant Development Programs available. Each program brings parents and professionals together to help children overcome developmental difficulties. It’s an opportunity... For parents to: All our programs are “family-centered”. This means that you, the parent, decide on what kind of support you need. Families play a vital role in every child’s development. From birth to three years, a child develops at a rapid pace. Physical, social, emotional, behavioral, communication and intellectual development depend in part on experiences provided by the family. Once referred to a program, a consultant will visit you in your home. Together you will plan activities that best meet both your child’s, and your family’s needs. If your child has a special need, up-to-date information will be available to you. Infant Development Consultants are professionals. They have skills and knowledge in child development and can assist you to enhance your child’s development in the early years. Your participation is voluntary and is free of charge. The programs are supported by the Ministry of Children and Family Development. When your baby needs extra help, the Infant Development Program is available for you and your family. As a parent, you may contact the Infant Development Program directly or you may be referred by a doctor, a public health nurse, or a community professional. Infant Development Program services may include: • home visits to encourage progress, develop new activities and support parents The New Baby Talk Have you ever wondered what your baby is trying to tell you? Their grunts, cries and wails can be hard and sometimes frustrating to decipher. Babies are able to communicate manually with their hands several months before they speak their first words. Just as a baby will learn to wave bye-bye or shake their head for no, they can learn to use American Sign Language (ASL) signs. It gives babies a developmentally appropriate way to communicate before they can talk. Many parents fear that teaching sign language will delay their child’s speech. Research has shown that sign actually enhances a baby's language development by allowing them to learn and play with language before speech develops. When you sign and speak with young children, they are using their eyes to learn about language, as well as their ears, hands, voices, body language and facial expression, therefore stimulating multiple areas of the brain at the same time, which is very beneficial in the first three years of life! As long as you keep talking to hearing children, they are learning verbal language. ASL is a true language used by 30,000 people in Canada. ASL is widely known and easily accessible throughout North America. This means the signs your baby uses will be recognized and understood by many people. Learning a second language is fun and has many developmental benefits You are never too old to learn ASL. The “Terrible Two’s” as it is known, can be a trying period of many tantrums. One of the reasons for this is the frustration caused by lack of communication on the toddlers part. This is a wonderful age to introduce ASL. They typically pick up on it very quickly and can learn a large number of signs. Children learn much more about the meanings of words when you sign with them. LIKE can mean "similar to" and LIKE can also mean or "prefer" or "enjoy" so we do the sign differently in context of what we are talking about. As the mother of two girls who have been signing since babies, I have hands on experience about how to make signing a part of your everyday life with hearing children. In order to share the idea of using sign language as a communication tool in the early years, Growing Signs was founded. I bring both professional and personal qualifications to my classes. I have a diploma in Early Childhood Education, certificate in American Sign Language studies, Sign2Me certified presenter and with eleven years in the childcare field, I have worked with children of all ages and abilities. In our classes we use story-telling, songs and other fun activities to discover this wonderful new world. You will learn many signs, as well as how and when to introduce them to baby. You will also learn the many benefits that signing brings to the whole family. Classes run for one hour a week for six weeks. If you are too busy to attend weekly classes, I also offer a “getting started workshop”. In this two hour workshop, you will learn the basics needed to get started, while easily fitting it into your schedule. Classes are located at the Shawnigan Community Centre. To register call 250-743-1433.
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